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The morning sun....
Author: Zeviahnna Mitchell
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***
The morning sun glistens as it rises in the East. It travels the sky, giving
off its heat and light to show everyone's way. As it passes overhead and
begins to set in the West, I awaken. When the afternoon breeze begins to
blow, I begin to struggle in my bed. And when the light shines no more, my
eyes open to see darkness. I am a child of the night. I see no sunlight nor
feel no heat of the day. I stay in my darkened room, away from the light. For
it burns my eyes to look at it. I stay away from the people of the day.
Their happiness sickens me. I keep away from all that is good in this world,
for I feel nothing good. All the feelings I use to have are now gone. I am
left in my emptiness to live alone in a shallow whole where it'll someday be
filled with dry earth. I live in my home that hides me away from the light. I
wish not to leave my prison. My confined body feels no pain, mental or
physical. After years of staying away from people, my voice has become weak.
When I speak my voice sounds like a silent whisper. My eyes look dead and
drained of all life. My skin has become pale and cold like a corpse. The
veins that travel inside my body can now be seen on the surface. Nothing on
my body shows life. I am dead inside and now it can be seen on the outside.
The life I use to have is now over. No feelings are shown to the people
around me. I am dead to the world. Before it wasn't like this. Before it was
better. I was happy. I use to run and play with other kids my age. I use to
be known to people as someone. I use to be loved by many. Now I have none but
two people who even remotely care about me. All those I loved have now either
left me, died, or have turned their back on me. I have no true friends. I
have no family that I can call on when I need their help. I have nothing left
in this world for me. And yet I stay. I stay in this realm of misery. I stay
because I am not wanted. I stay because many hate me. Some fears me as well.
I stay because I can destroy this world and destroy the system that holds me
back. I am one of the many who can turn this world around. But I do not help
them. I have no real reason to help in the destruction of the system. I have
nothing to look forward to. My heart only holds two people close to it. I
have nothing. All I have is my love for the only two people left in this
world. But are they really worth it? Is any of this really worth the pain
that I go through? Does going through this pain right now mean that my life
will someday become better? Or does it mean that I must continue to struggle
in this hell I call life? I cannot tell weather or not I should even keep
living. I cant tell if I should help the system to become the past. I don't
know what I should do. I have been lost for so long I have forgotten my
purpose. I have no real life so I don't know if it even really means
anything. My pain is my life. I only have love for two. Two. Do they really
care for me? Or do I see that they do when they really don't? I have been
heartbroken so many times, will it happened again? At this point I am weak. I
have no real thought of my own. My life is now restricted to night only. I
cannot walk in the daylight. For it is my weakness. I have nothing left in
this life. I am distended for death. So let me die now. Let me leave this
land of cruel and heartless people. Let me be free from my misery. Let me die.
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