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A WOMB WITH A VIEW
At nine
and half months and seventeen days
Jack
Armstrong appeared at the end of his mother’s labour
He saw
a doctor, a nurse, his father and his three-year-old sister
There
and then he decided he didn’t like what he saw
The
outside world was all bland and white
With
big heads making ugly faces at him
It was
at this point that he made his decision
He
turned around and climb back into the womb
The
expression upon his mother’s face
Was
very much like the same expression
Found
on the faces of Vlad the Impaler’s victims
A
couple years went by and Jack made a few changes
He
removed all the eggs in the two side rooms
The
room on the right side he made into his bedroom
A
waterbed in the centre, a stereo in one corner
A
basketball hoop next to a Britany Spears’ poster on the wall
A
signed Hansie Cronji picture on his bedside table
The
other side room he turned it into his kitchen
The
main room, the heart of the Virginia, became his living room
He
bought a couch from the Salvation Army
Got
some milk crates and cardboard which he made into a coffee table
Had a
couple of crates over, so he made a stand for the TV and video
A wire
coat hanger as his TV aerial
The
reception was terrible a few days each month
So
bought a satellite dish and fixed to his mother’s naval
Then he
got a plumber in to put and end to those constant leaks
Life
was finally grand for Jack living in the womb
Bought
a set of wind chines
And
hung them down on his mother’s Virginal lips
Life
was pretty sweet living in a uterus
Tragedy
struck after twenty years of bliss
His
home was condemned
His
mother was dead, deceased
He was
thrown out on the street
He
didn’t know what to do
But in
those desperate hours one AM to three
A light
bulb flashed above his head
He’d
begin to search of a woman that was just like his mum
And
when the time was right after all the romancing and lying
He’d
get her drunk and drugged
And
before she’d know it he’d move into her c
After
months and months he found his candidate
One
Jill Renault of no fixed steady date
He
wined her and he dined her
Then
they both went back to her place
Where
they continued to drink
At one
point when she turn her back
He
dropped capsule into her drink
Laughing and kiss her he waited for the drug to take effect
Everything became a blur and he fell asleep
In
morning he woke up alone in the bed
No
signs of Jill
But his
head was sore and his temples were aching
He went
and looked at himself in the bathroom mirror
It was
then that he saw a huge hole above his brows
With a
sign attached with words written in big bold red print
Trespassers will be prosecuted
Post no
bills or junk mail
With a
P.S. at the end
Quit
that snoring Jack or I’ll get the concreters in
From
Jill living in your head
That’s
how it ended up
Jack
hasn’t even his own memories now
Though
he did find the woman that could fulfill his dreams
But
Jill's the one living in Jack
And
Jacks not living at all
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